God’s Plan for the Man as Head of His Household
This year’s celebration of Father’s Day served as a reminder of the Divine and significant role of Fathers in every home and walk of life. I was particularly enamored by the message brought to my church by our guest speaker for the Tribe of The Fathers celebration, Pastor Derrick Boseman, and his beautiful wife, First Lady Trista Boseman.
Pastor Boseman set the scene of his message from the book of Genesis 18 with particular emphasis on verse 19, where God expressed His confidence in Abraham as a leading father, when He said,
“ For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him” (KJV).
“For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him” (NIV).
This 18th chapter of Genesis finds Abraham enjoying intimate fellowship with the Lord near the oaks of Mamre. As the heavenly visitors rise to leave, God pauses to reveal His intentions about Sodom, and, in the process, unveils why He trusts Abraham with such weighty knowledge, but this single verse compresses God’s blueprint for his headship in four interlocking focuses:
- Divine Selection: Leadership Begins with Calling. The Lord said, “I have chosen him…”
Abraham was hand-picked by God Himself to be the head of this special family that would impact the world. We see, therefore, that headship isn’t a cultural accident, but rather it’s a divine appointment. God singles out Abraham not for privilege but for responsibility. Likewise, every husband and father is chosen and entrusted with a sacred stewardship over those within his care. The Apostle Paul to the Corinthians gives us a vivid picture of God’s designed order of the family when he said, “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God,” (1 Cor 11:3 KJV).
Abraham’s obedience to God’s call on his life, teaches us, in particular fathers, that headship starts with accepting that leadership at home and that it is God-given, not self-appointed or culturally imposed.
- Direction: Vision That Shapes Generations. God did not only give Abraham the
responsibility to his seed but authority to command his household, or direct them as the NIV indicates, in a specific manner. “…so that he will direct his children and his household after him…” The Hebrew term for “direct” (??wâ) carries the idea of commanding, instructing, and setting a clear course. A godly man supplies more than provision, he supplies vision, charting a path toward God’s purposes for his family.
- Discipleship: Teaching “the Way of the Lord.” God’s plan for the father of nations was
“…to keep the way of the Lord…” down throughout his generations. Headship is not authoritarian control, it is discipleship. Abraham’s primary subject matter is “the way of the LORD,” God’s character, promises, and commands. New-covenant fathers echo this by pointing their children to Christ, who is “the way” (Jn 14:6), establishing regular times of family Scripture reading and prayer (Deut. 6:6-9), casting the vision for their household’s future, spiritual, relational, and financial, by aligning decisions with biblical convictions.
d. Justice & Righteousness: The Ethics of Headship. “…by doing what is right and just…”
Biblical leadership is inherently ethical. A man’s influence is authenticated by integrity, equity, and compassion, traits Abraham demonstrated in his intercession for Sodom (Gen 18:22-33).
e. Promise: Obedience Attracts Fulfillment. “… so that the Lord will bring about for
Abraham, what He has promised him.” Headship is goal-oriented for it aims at seeing God’s promises realized across generations (Prov 13:22). God ties the fulfillment of covenant blessings to Abraham’s faithful fathering. Likewise, a man’s obedience paves a runway for divine favor over his descendants.
As I examine God’s intent for Abraham as the father of all nations, it is clear that God set the blueprint for all fathers down throughout the ages. Fathers have that divine responsibility and authority to command or direct the course for their children and family as a whole. But as Pastor Boseman intimated, the wife or mother must be mindful of their responsibility alongside their husbands and not get caught up in the misrepresentation of the liberation movement, which is destroying families. So very often, we walk away from the guidance of Almighty God and hold fast to the direction of society, which is contrary to the will of God. Pastor Boseman emphasized that “there has to be a change in our households for our people to get to the point that God is trying to take us to.”
Interestingly, he was very candid when he said that even as we complain about our children, we must recognize that they are a reflection of us as parents. God made a covenant with Abraham, and He trusted him as He trusts every parent ever since to act right in the private areas of their lives. Clearly, there is a clarion call for fathers and mothers to internalize the responsibility God mandated for families. Genesis 18:19 reminds us that headship is less about status and more about stewardship. The man who embraces God’s plan becomes a conduit through which covenant blessings flow, impacting children, grandchildren, and entire communities. Fathers and husbands lead on purpose, lead under God’s promise.
A Prayer for Husbands & Fathers
Father, thank You for choosing me to lead my household. Empower me by Your Spirit to direct my family in Your ways, to walk in justice and righteousness, and to steward every promise You’ve spoken over us. Let my leadership reflect Christ’s love, so that generations after me will know and glorify You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
